You're Going Down!

Michigan: Adultery = Life in Prison -- Philanderers beware: spouses caught cheating in Michigan could end up spending the rest of their life in prison.

And not the emotional kind.


The state's appeals court recently ruled that extramarital flings can be prosecuted as first-degree criminal sexual conduct, a felony punishable by up to life in jail.

When asked for local comment, one man on the street replied, "Hey, I'm Italian. I gotta do what I gotta do. You gotta do what you gotta do. Y'know what I mean?"


A woman commented, "Well, sure I'm married But I'm not, like, fanatical about it."

Upon hearing the news, local taxi and bus companies doubled their out of state rates and bedroom communities are springing up along the Michigan boarder.

The Michigan branch of the ACLU was elated. "With this new class of felony we are calling Pink Collar Crimes, we finally have a shot at blacks becoming a minority in the state's prison system. This is a great day for Justice!"

(Neither of my mistresses were available for comment.)

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