Renting Movies

I've been renting some movies recently. This was because of the "break" the networks gave us between the holidays. First off, I don't need a fucking break! And secondly, I don't need a fucking break! But, since I had one I rented some movies.

It really doesn't matter what I rented because it is mostly dreck, anyway. But I have noticed something else that would annoy a sleeping cat. The WARNING statements. Every DVD you rent (and I assume purchase) has warning statements at the beginning of the discs.

The first one says that under federal and international law it is illegal to make unauthorized copies of the movie I just lawfully rented and that I am subject to a 5 year imprisonment and a $250,000 fine.

It's bad enough that I am sitting in my own living room, settled into my recliner, a bowl of popcorn on my lap and an adult beverage on the end table, and the makers of the movie feel the need to metaphorically kick down my front door and terrorize me with fines and jail terms for legally renting a probably dreadful movie, but then, they keep the damn warning on the screen for-EVER. You can't skip it or fast forward or anything. You just have to sit there and endure the potential legal wrath of the entire film industry. It is worse than trying to get from your car to the airplane unmolested.

But it is the second warning that gets me the most. It explains that any commentary or opinions found on the aforementioned DVD are not necessarily those of the makers of this dreck and they are not even sure how they got on the disc. This warning, too, is on the screen until it is seared into your brain.

Now, don't these two warnings sound a little schizophrenic to you? On the one hand they are saying, "Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!" And on the other hand they are saying, "What movie?" In other words they want full credit for a product for which they claim no responsibility.

That sounds a little like my wife's attitude about me during cocktail parties.



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