The Straight Poop

I am confused by poop. I mean I know what it is and shit, I'm just confused by how people deal with it. I was recently around some people who were poddy training their child. Every time the kid pooped in the toilet or poddy chair, they made a big fuss and told him what a great, smart kid he was. I remember doing the same thing with our kids.

However, there comes a time (and this is probably where my own confusion originally began) when the kid is trained. He can now shit in the proper place. He is used to the accolades and possibly rewards for doing his doody. He is strutting around like a little king, knowing that any time he feels that certain urge, he knows exactly where to go and what to do and he will once again have praise and glory heaped upon him. But there will also be that certain day when all of the adults around him will say, "Yeah, so what kid? Now go play."

He will be crushed. He will suddenly realize he is the only one who gives a shit. And this will be his first real life lesson. And it will confuse him by it's subtlety. Even if he gets the attitude of, "That's good, but what have you done recently?" that adults have to deal with constantly, he still gets nothing by pointing to his recent poop. Because they mean "what else can you do?" instead of "how much more can you do?"

Then, adding to his confusion, will be the adult use of the word "shit." By this point he will have connected the words "poop" and "shit" in his little brain and suddenly, the very thing he was praised for doing, will forever more have a negative connotation. What's going on here?

Then he will look out the window and see the neighbors walking their dogs; making a big fuss when their doggy poops; giving the dog a treat; and then picking it up and saving it for later. Even back when everybody thought his poop was really great, nobody ever saved it!

This is why children go through what parents call their "terrible twos." It basically takes them that long to get over their poop confusion. And while they work it all out in their little heads they tend to act out.

Which, now that I think of it, might also explain the "teen rebellion" years and their confusion over the connotations and realities associated with the word "fuck".

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