Techno Junkie

I am a technology junkie. I have a monkey on my back and it has a remote control. I love technology and gadgets. I'm into cool computers, PDA's, cell phones, iPods, speakers, DirectTV, cable modems, routers, power tools and microwave ovens. I love clocks and cool watches. If it wasn't that I am so damn cool myself, I'd be a geek.

But I'm not.

So what makes the difference between a geek and a tech savvy cool guy? There are two things. The first difference is razor thin -- and that's why it's called the "cutting edge". You have to know where the cutting edge is and artfully hover around it. If you are constantly on the bleeding edge of the cutting edge you will a) go broke and b) forever be labeled a geek. But, if you know where the cutting edge is, have a supply of very recent cutting edge items (nobody has to know when you bought them), and own at least one bleeding edge item, you will appear to be very cool, indeed.

The second difference between geek and cool is attitudinal. You have to act like you don't care. Even though you may be dying to show off and talk about your new gadgets you must maintain. Too much tech excitement will label you as a geek. The better approach is to just casually use the gadgets. When other people rush up and say, "Wow! That's a Technocraft 6430! And you have the adapter!" You lean back and calmly say, "Yeah, I got it last week. I thought it would look good next to my 6420." Then you pause and mention, "It's Bluetooth too, you know." Then you change the subject to either chicks or booze.

I guess at heart most cool techno junkies are really closet geeks. But, you know, I can live with that. Perception is everything. I have a lot of cool-ass gadgets, and I've given my friends a reason to think I am terminally cool.

Like they needed another one.

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