That Uncontrollable Urge

God plays some funny games with us. Like the uncontrollable urge to pee when we hear running water. I'm not sure why this works the way it does -- but it surely does work. Listen to a decorative fountain, or a babbling brook or the gentle rain on an awning with the run-off splashing onto the deck and WHAM! You have to pee. Sometimes just the water running in the sink while I brush my teeth is enough to do it.

I try to understand most urges and bodily necessities. I try to imagine why God would create us to perform in certain ways. I try to hearken back to how primitive man lived. To understand what survival skills and instincts trigger what autonomic responses in us. Like the fight or flight response to danger. Or why we salivate when we smell (or even think of) certain foods.

But I can't figure out why we get an uncontrollable urge to pee when we hear water running. I mean, was primitive man sooo busy that he needed the occasional mountain stream or thunderstorm to remind him to pee? Were there a lot of burst bladders in the early models? Did we need a triggering mechanism to remind us to piss down our own leg?

Or was God just messing with us? Is this a proof that God has a sense of humor? Is the Big Guy just a frustrated stand up comic at heart? It makes sense. A lot of people think He's Jewish. I could see an all powerful Woody Allen messing with us this way; reclining on a pillow, eating peeled grapes and pointing to a random man somewhere and saying, "Watch me make him dance. I won't even touch him."

This theory actually makes the most sense to me. I believe that man's uncontrollable urge to pee is a direct result of God's uncontrollable urge to mess with us. He's done it before. It's just like the time he created women.

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