L. Ron Dumbass

Tom Cruise was fired by Paramount yesterday. It appears that they too think he is:

• A few clowns short of a circus.

• A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

• An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

• Dumber than a box of hair.

• Doesn't have all his corn flakes in one box.

• The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

• A few feathers short of a whole duck.

• All foam, no beer.

• Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

• Has an intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

• Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

• His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

• His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

• He's missing a few buttons on his remote control.

• His receiver is off the hook.

• He is surfing in Nebraska.

• He has too much yardage between the goal posts.

• He's dumber than a bag of left-handed hammers

Well, you get the point. But we will miss you, Tom. You have been good for business down at the sarcasm factory. If you get too depressed, maybe your Scientologist friends can recommend a good psychiatrist or some medication. In the meantime, we'll have all your mail forwarded to:

Loser
c/o The Mothership.