This Just In . . .

I awoke this morning to find out that St. Louis Has Been Named the Most Dangerous City. What I want to know is why do these things always happen at night? I can't tell you how many times I wake up to the morning news and something news worthy has happened overnight.

I usually go to bed around 11 PM and I check the Internet headlines just prior to that. When I get up the next morning there is a whole new batch of headlines. Things like: IBM Still Profits From Giant Mainframes. Did some insomniac publicity agent for IBM decide that 2 AM is the time to let that cat out of the bag? Or: Caffeine-stoked Energy Drinks Worry Docs. So much so that they had a press conference while I was sleeping? Or is the story about the Docs being worried because they, themselves, are stoked up on the caffeine energy drinks? Either way, why are the reporters awake at that time of night?

I can understand reading a morning headline about Bomb Rips Through Shiite Slum because somebody once told me about how it is daytime in other places when it is nighttime here. But how does Book Paints Escape-artist Houdini as Spy become news worthy in the middle of the night? Is this new information about Houdini? And why didn't we know about this book yesterday?

My news reader tells me what time a story is posted to the Internet and I've got to wonder why we need to be informed Rosanne (Barr) Comfortable With Her Weight at 3:46 AM. If it were the nightly news I could understand it. The talking news head touches his finger to his earbud, listens a moment, and announces to the world, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have just received late word that Rosanne Barr is comfortable. She could use another pillow and a bowl of popcorn but says "Don't worry about me -- I'll be OK." We will keep you informed as this story develops." That is definitely prime-time news. But at 3:46 AM? C'mon!

Now, back to St. Louis and it's overnight status as the Most Dangerous City. Apparently the rest of the overnight polling is in and Las Vegas has been voted Most Popular and Wheeling, West Virginia has been voted Most Likely to Divorce a Cousin.

Internet Rumor of the Day: Is it true that Rush Limbaugh has a Michael J. Fox bobble-head doll on the dashboard of his car?