Naked is the Best Disguise

I spend a lot of time with secretive people. I don't even know the last names of some of my best friends. And I'm not sure we are using their real first names. This is what the CIA company picnic must be like.

The reason for the subterfuge is the fact that we are all nudists. And this is fairly ironic. Nudism is a bold statement of "Here I am" - moles, wrinkles and rolls of fat or smooth skin, flat bellies and perky nipples - "take me or leave me!" Nudism is about freedom; of shedding the cares and trappings of a repressive society; a statement of our true selves.

We are a Proud, Tan people. Ready to defend our lifestyle to any and all. To stand tall in a world of social midgets. To tell our friends and family and co-workers that we . . . Yeah, right!

From what I've seen, we are the dirty, little secret that no one outside the resort can ever know about. Sons and daughters are our first line of cowardice. Then parents, brothers and sisters. And don't forget about work.

I hear things like, "No one where I work can ever find out about this place." And, "I couldn't ever tell the kids, they would dis-own us!" Or, "The, err, ah, Senate must nevah discovah where, err, ah, I spend my, ah, spahre time." Things like that.

And I really do understand the need to keep uptight co-workers, judgemental friends and unforgiving family members out of the loop. But if we can see each others' private parts, here at the resort, and I can know about that strawberry mole on your wife's left breast, why isn't it safe for us to be in the loop? We have just as much to hide as you do. (Unless you are fatter than me, have any degree of fame, have a job worth not losing or family that cares.)

We have gotten so used to no last names that we are introduced as or referred to as "Johnny of Nina" or "Wendy of Nathan". If we do hear a last name, there is no telling if it is real or not. And everyone wants to be so mysterious; I have three friends who claim to be in the mob and another who "works for the government." I spend my days keeping them all apart.

O.K., I guess I'm exaggerating to a small degree. But the veil of secrecy does extend into the resort at times. People are still afraid that their friends from the nudist lifestyle will someday meet their friends, etc. from the real world. So last names are seldom used and other info is often vague. Information is revealed based upon depth of friendship and need to know.

So the irony stands. We choose to reveal all -- yet reveal very little. Our nudity has become merely another mask, another guise in a world that celebrates diversity yet judges our differences harshly.

Maybe that is why we do it. This is one of the few places where we can cast off most of the meaningless trappings of a materialistic society and be equal among many. But anonymously. Maybe naked is the best disguise.