My best guesstimate is that, over the years, I have read more than 4,000 books. That may seem like a lot but that is only 2 books a week for 35 years. Since I am 54 years old, I figure it is a conservative number.
The reason I mention this is because there is one book I have been reading, but haven't finished, for close to twenty-five years, now. And it's not because I don't like it. I love the author. And I've loved every word I have read so far. It is because I am afraid to continue.
I should further explain that I do not consider myself a superstitious person. I don't avoid walking under ladders. I don't throw spilled salt over my shoulder. I don't say, "God bless you" when somebody sneezes. I step on all kinds of cracks (even when my mother was alive). I do, however, avoid black cats but I avoid all cats (allergies). And that thing about whistling past a graveyard? I don't remember whether it is supposed to be bad luck if you do or if you don't. But if I knew, I would whistle (or not) in the face of the supposed danger.
I do have a couple of personal quirks that could be chalked up to superstitious-like behaviour. I'm not proud of them and I think they go back to an early belief that God punishes or rewards certain behaviours or actions. A more universal version of this concept would be called Karma. A more folksy version would be, "What goes around, comes around." If you are nice to people, they will be nice to you. If you are a prick, expect to get pricked back.
One of my quirks is a fear of expecting good things to happen. As soon as I realize I am hoping for something good, I clamp a mental vice on the thought and say, "If it happens, it happens. But I'm not going to get my hopes up." I guess I'm afraid of being disappointed.
Another one, and the subject of this blog, is my unreasonable fear of reading this particular book. The book is The Complete Works of O. Henry. It is a one volume edition containing thirteen books consisting of 286 stories and poems. I started reading it around 1980 when I was thinking about quitting my job and moving my family to Colorado. In a matter of days a few things fell into place, I got busy with the details of the move and the book got packed away.
When we decided to leave Colorado after too short of a time (a story for another day), I coincidentally came across the unfinished collection and thought the short stories would make good bed time readings. After a very short time, all the pieces fell into place and we made our now famous Gatlinburg trip into Georgia. The book was again boxed away.
It was about this time that I began to go a little bit nuts about the cause and effect (if any) surrounding my reading of this book. I began to perceive that major changes occurred in our lives when I read O. Henry. To strengthen this absurd notion, I was not satisfied with our situation in Georgia and was looking for a way out. I said semi-facetiously, "Maybe I'll read O. Henry. It seems like every time I start that book we make a major move." Within days I had a job offer from out of the blue. So we moved to South Carolina.
At this point The Complete Works of O. Henry was my personal talisman. I wanted to move from a rental house to one with a mortgage and I read O. Henry to close the deal. When we wanted to move back to Pennsylvania -- out came the O. Henry. I've since used his mystical powers to change jobs one more time, purchase two more houses and broker my retirement deal. Whenever I wanted a major change to occur I used O. Henry to affect it.
I know. It's silly. It is all coincidence. Those things were going to happen anyway. There is no rational cause and effect relationship between reading The Complete Works of O. Henry and any of those events. The reading of the book and the doing of these things were parallel events. My rational mind understands that.
But I am 1,319 pages into a 1,692 page book and I am at war with myself. Part of me cannot stand leaving a book unfinished. And part of me is afraid to summon another major change because I really like where I am and what I am doing . . . but O. Henry really is one of my favorite authors . . . but I don't want to upset the applecart . . .
So there is my dilemma. I'd like to hear what you think. I know it is superstitious nonsense -- but what if it's not?
2 comments:
If you start reading the book you might just (against the wishes of your conscious mind) create circumstances that will affect a large change in your life. I wouldn’t want you to leave the area, so, please tuck the book away for now ;)
I'm writing my Ph.D. dissertation on O. Henry, and I too have the 1953 Doubleday 2-volume set. I wish you well in your reading--remember, you can always start over at the beginning!
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