I was thinking that 12-Step programs would be more successful if they only had, like maybe, three or four steps. Believe me, I've been drunk and you can't keep track of that many things at one time. It's all I can do to remember their motto: One Drink at a Time! (Or something like that.)
Even God only had Ten Commandments. And who can remember more than four of those? I always get hung up on the one about my neighbors wife. That one always seemed so important to Him so I usually get to wondering what God's neighbor's wife looks like. I'll bet she's hot.
But back to the 12-Step thingy. Why twelve? Why not eight or six? My guess is they started out with four and then had to keep adding them on the fly because of misbehaviour at the meetings. I think the same thing happened at the Commandment Organizational Pre-meeting. They were sitting around arguing over what is and isn't murder (#6) when Somebody noticed Shiva messing around with Budda's wife in the Sacramental Cloak Room. Budda jumps up and yells, "That's it! From now on, we've got a new rule!" And you couldn't blame him. I mean, that Shiva guy was all arms.
And there are so many 12-Step programs, anymore. I had a friend who used to go to the AA meetings just for the cookies. It turns out . . . well, you get the idea. Did you know there are actually 12-Step programs for people with social addictions to 12-Step programs. The only problem is that no one can tell if anyone is making any progress. Are they doing good by showing up at the meetings or would it be better if they . . . well, you get the idea.
So twelve, huh? Maybe if I wrote them down somewhere. Oh well, I guess I'll start with number one and see how it goes.
Hi, my name is John . . . and I am a smart-ass!
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