Well, my wife left this morning for a business trip. She will be gone for four days and, as usual, she packed for eight. She had her nails done, bought new shoes, got something at the Deb Shop and did other gal stuff.
Once she had herself ready, she had to make sure I would be O.K. She cooked a pot of chili, made roast beef for sandwiches, bought me snacks that I don't even get when we have company, and made lists of where things are.
Last night she had to get rid of all the things a terrorist would carry in his purse. Things like lipstick, tweezers, hand lotion and fresh pairs of contact lenses. You know, I'm aware that James Bond could kill someone 20 different ways with a toothpick, but I think we are giving these towel heads too much credit. "Stand back, Infidels! Or I will disembowel this stewardess with my hand lotion!"
But we have been pretty lucky so far. Like how could the terrorists know that shoe bombs could be deactivated by foot odor? Apparently "camel toe" has another meaning in Pakistan.
And I did my part in helping her get ready. I moped around, asked crazy "what if" scenario questions, ate so much of my special snack stuff that she had to go back to the store again Sunday evening, asked her where the life insurance policies are, and had incredible good-bye sex.
I was looking forward to sleeping until 10AM, not making the bed, not shaving for two or three days, spending the days in gym shorts and the same tee shirt all week, taking naps, watching old movies on Turner Classic Movies, sitting on the deck reading and having a cigar, watching prime time TV while eating popcorn and drinking adult beverages and just doing guy stuff. Then I realized I do all of that stuff, anyway.
Now, all I have to look forward to, is her coming back.
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