But, honestly, no dogs were hurt in the blogginging of yesterday's blog. A gerbil lost an eye but it was his own damn fault and too complicated to go in to here.
I will admit I am uncomfortable around dogs for the reasons I mentioned yesterday. After all, I only have one penis. If it got mangled by a well meaning but stupid dog, all of the apologies in the world wouldn't bring back my precious. And the little yippie ones that can't reach it are just annoying.
But that doesn't mean I don't like them. Blame it on age. At this point in my life I don't like being around kids either. I'm waiting to see Cars on video. I always eat in the bar area of restaurants to avoid the baby and toddler crowd. And they splash in the pool. I guess they are mostly annoying, too.
And although most of my stuff is moderately nice (replaceable) I just don't want my furniture chewed on and poop everywhere. (Was I talking about kids or dogs on that one?) So, it's not that I don't like dogs -- I just don't like being around dogs. And I'm not vocal about it. I stand there with one hand protecting my dick and listen to all the dog (and kid) stories. Some of them are quite amusing and interesting. But they don't make me want to get a dog.
I've had dogs. Some of my best friends are dogs. But I wouldn't want my sister to marry one. What?... Never mind. Anyway, I was thinking about making it up to all the dog lovers I may have offended yesterday by citing some examples of famous dogs.
- Blair -- was the first dog featured in a movie. He was a collie in a 1905 movie called Rescued by Rover.
- Lassie -- was created by Eric Knight and published as a short story in the Saturday Evening Post in 1938 and as a novel in 1940. All of the "Lassies" were male dogs and descended from the original.
- Goofy - first appeared in 1932 as a minor character called Dippy Dog.
- Rin-Tin-Tin -- first appearing in Where The North Begins in 1925, Rin Tin Tin went on to make 25 movies, sign his own contracts with a paw print, and at the height of his success was his studio's major wage earner, earning approx. 5 Million Dollars.
- Snoopy -- was a regular member of the Peanuts gang and starred in the movie Snoopy vs.The Red Baron.
- Spuds MacKenzie -- was the original party animal.
- Benji -- made a bunch of Benji movies. I guess you had to be there.
- Underdog -- was a super-canine who talked in rhymes, and was the alter-identity of Shoeshine Boy. He was usually called into action by his girlfriend and ace TV reporter Sweet Polly Purebred by saying "Oh where, oh where has my Underdog gone?". The TV show debuted on October 3, 1964, on the NBC network and continued until 1973.
3 comments:
Margo had a number of wonderful suggestions for a possible pet for you but none of them addressed the problem that you have with dogs, kids and the pain in the butt neighbor that you have. All those agravations can be handled by one particular pet, a wolverine. Dogs will disappear, parents will keep charge of their annoying children and you may even be able to get a new neighbor out of it too. With an ample supply of neighborhood pets you will not have to walk it, feed it or clean up after it plus if some idiot should decide to break into your house it can stay home to eat. The only downside is it will not fit in with the Tiki motif of your deck but I doubt if anybody will have the nerve to complain.
Al, That's a good idea. Where can i get one? Can they be trained? Will they leave my dick alone? Will they drink my booze? Do the girls think they are cute?
You can probably get a nice wolverine from either Canada or Alaska, there are not very many left in the lower 48. They are actually members of the weasel family and as far as training goes, that would depend upon the nature of the animal that you get. As far as leaving your dick alone, I am not to sure about that. I have never heard of anybody waving their dick at one and it is not something I would want to be the first person to find out what their reaction would be. Even if you should end up with a gay wolverine, the teeth that they have would not encourage anybody into letting them get a blow job from a wolverine. I have never heard of one being an alcoholic but I would not get a wolverine started on drinking, they can have an attitude problem and booze would make it worse. They definitely would be a conversation piece with the women though I am not sure how the conversation would go.
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