What's Another Word for F**k?

I've been noticing lately that some people say the word f**k as every third word and some people will use every euphemism in the book to avoid saying f**k. It is probably the most used and mis-used word in the world. Although if you go around the world I hear you pay extra.

So I started polling my friends (sorry, that just sounds like one), to see how many euphemisms for sex we could come up with. This is a fun party game by the way. Every new word or phrase that makes the list earns another shot. It usually gets funnier towards the end.

We often get the more common ones out of the way first. Words like boink, and bang, and bop, and poke, and hump, and nail, and shag and pork. It's surprising how many of them sound like Batman sound effects. Pow! Bang! Boink! And tell me Robin wasn't oiling the Bat-pole.

Once we are past the preliminaries we really get our rocks off on the project. And I don't have to hammer anyone to do it, either. Our list usually includes wink wink, nudge nudge, and the beast with two backs, and bumping uglies, and cleaning her pipes, and mixing the baby juice, and parting the Pink Sea, and dipping your wick and getting it on...and... (Sorry, I had to breathe) glazing the donut, and hauling your ashes, and hanky-panky, and getting a piece of tail and getting some nookie.

You can plant your seed, or do the backseat mambo, or do the bone dance, or fill the clap flap, or take a roll in the hay. You can go like a rat up a drain pipe, or just go to town. You can play hide the salami or hide the sausage. It is always fun to jump her bones, or to lay some pipe, or to be up to your balls, or to boff your brains out.

Did you ever bash the beaver, or burp the worm in the mole hole? What about going on bush patrol, or filling the cream donut, or getting your oil changed, or having a nooner? Have you ever done the horizontal hula, or impale someone, or make grass sandwiches, or do the mommy-daddy dance, or simply mount someone?

People have been known to park the beef bus in tuna town, and grind their tool, and press the sheets, and dance the matrimonial polka, and do the four-legged frolic.

Getting into someone's pants can get you some stank on the hang low. You could always ask for a squeeze and a squirt, or to make whoopee, or do the nasty, or parallel park, or put your pickle in the hair sandwich.

Having a quickie can be referred to as ringing her bell, or rubbing one out, or putting the boots to someone, or making it, or beating someone with your ugly stick, or boning someone. It can mean doing the bump and grind, or banging bellies, or feeding the kitty.

Fornication is the same as carnal knowledge, or doing the deed, or exchanging body fluids. It can be called taking a joy ride, or doing the hokey-pokey, or giving pussy a taste of cream, or having a picnic in the lawn, or riding the baloney pony, or slipping someone a hot beef injection.

Stuffing the taco, or tearing off a piece, or varnishing your cane, or putting your snake in the grass, or hosing someone, or getting your genital exercise are all good ones. Breeding, and burying the bone, and churning the butter, and sowing your wild oats, and giving her the high hard one also work.

I probably should wrap this up. OK, just a few more. Going belly-to-belly, knocking boots, making ends meet, playing doctor, plowing someone, plug-and-play, ramming it to someone, riding bareback, shooting your wad, twat raking, and wetting your wick.

I'm sure you and your friends can come up with many more. And AFAYK it's a game that never ends...

Fuck! Did I say screw?