Precognative Amnesia

I have a condition called precognative amnesia. It basically means I forget future events. "What? Was that today?" is a common phrase associated with this malady. Or "What do you mean, I was supposed to pick you up?" I have no memory of these future events, right up to the time I get in trouble for forgetting them.

The whole concept baffles me. How can I remember or forget something that hasn't even happened yet? It doesn't make sense to me. I mean, if I could see into the future wouldn't I be rich or have married better? But I'm supposed to have this psychic link with future events and then squander this amazing talent on remembering to get milk and bread before I come home.

If I had the ability to remember future events, why would I need the TV Guide? And wouldn't I be able to avoid awkward social situations? I just wouldn't go! Or maybe it doesn't work that way. Maybe you can't avoid it if you already have this future memory. That means it already happened - in the future. And I remember(ed) it... I think.

You see the problem I'm having? I have enough trouble remembering (or maybe it's not remembering) things that have actually happened. Like anniversaries and birthdays and who was that woman I was just talking to?

I remember the important stuff. I know where I live and which car is mine. I know I like fresh roasted peanuts and black and white movies. I know I like jazz and that I am pretty much married. So why is everyone hung up on this future stuff? Don't I have enough things to keep track of in the present, real world? Like phone numbers, and PIN numbers, and user names, and passwords, and email addresses, and actual addresses, and account numbers and expiration dates, etc., etc., etc.

Even if I had this amazing ability to remember the future, isn't my brain pretty much full already with all this other stuff?

Besides, I learned a long time ago that if you fail in your responsibilities, claim to be a victim of some fuzzily defined condition, and can mis-direct the focus of the issue, you not only get away with the bad behavior but are often times rewarded for your suffering.

ADD, PMS and precognative amnesia. It's all good!