Credit Hogs

Have you ever noticed that when some people do things they have to take credit for it? I don't mean in a normal sense, like telling your wife you filled the tank while you were out. I mean in a weird, over the top, immediate and continual credit kind of way. Like:

"Here's the cheese tray you asked me to bring."
"Have you tried the cheese? I brought it."
"I went to seven stores before I found a cheese tray I was satisfied with."
"It was more expensive than what other people brought to the party but I got it anyway."
"Eat some cheese - I brought it!"

And then he hovers around the food table, monitoring what everyone is taking. Encouraging them to try the cheese. He brought it!

So I got to thinking about selfless people who just do things. Not for the credit but because it was the right thing to do. And what it might be like if they were credit hogs, too.

Man in elevator: "Hey there, did you see how I just held that elevator door for you? Not everyone would have done that. But I did. Held the elevator door."

Meter reader: "You know, I wrote that ticket on your car. I was just doing my duty. My duty to uphold the law 'cause I'm that kind of guy. I write tickets to preserve society. That's my responsibility. To write tickets. What do you think of my penmanship? Pretty neat, huh?"

Toll taker: "If I wasn't so efficient at making change - doing the math - in my head - traffic would be backed up for miles. But that's my job. I take your toll card, immediately see how much is due, count the money you give me and then calculate - in my head - what, if any, change is due. It's a huge responsibility."

Mobster: "Yeah, I whacked the bastard. He had it coming. It's not just anybody that has the, what-do-you-call... expertise to do a clean hit. You gotta keep the vic unawares or it gets messy. You know what I mean? So I keep him unawares and I gets behind him and next thing he knows is nothing. "Cause he's dead. From two .22's to the back of the skull. You ain't wired are you. So that's how I killed the bastard. Hey, I ain't kidding around here! Vinnie! Pat this prick down!"

Jesus: "Miracles! I don't even know where to start. Of course I do miracles. Water-to-wine, that was me. Walking on water, that was me. Raising Lazarus from the dead, that was me. Loaves and fishes, me. Who? David Blaine? Puh-lees! Don't get me started. I'm ten times better that he is. I calmed a storm for Me's sake!"

But there are all kind of people, most of them are normal and we only occasionally meet the credit hogs. Why can't people be more like me? You know - modest. I am extremely modest. I try not to take credit for anything. Anything. I guess that would make me Supremely modest, wouldn't it. SUPREMELY MODEST!

I wrote this. Did I mention that? Because it was me... Writing this...