What Would Tony Soprano Do?

I have a hat with the letters WWTSD? on it. I also have an embroidered bracelet with the same inscription. I wear them separately, at different times. Eventually someone asks me what the letters stand for and I tell them it's a game I like to play called situational ethics.

The letters stand for What Would Tony Soprano Do?

It is really quite simple. Someone comes up with a real life scenario where they must answer the above question. Such as:

Q: You have a member of your family that needs a bone marrow transplant and you are the best donor but you are told that the procedure is very painful and requires substantial recovery time. WWTSD in this situation?

A: The first thing Tony would ask: Is this guy a made member of the family? And then: Is he a substantial earner for the family. If the answer is no to either of these questions - he is dead to you.

See how it's played? Let's do a few more.

Q: You see a man by the river with a squirming sack of puppies. WWTSD?

A: Tony recognizes the man from the neighborhood. His name is Vinnie Gomboochi and he got into an argument with your cousin, Sal Valachi, at your niece Rosemary's wedding. It caused enough of a fuss that Rosemary paused to see what was going on during the father-daughter dance. So Tony gets the baseball bat from the back seat and teaches Vinnie some manners.

Q: You are walking past a car with an open window and a wallet is on the driver's seat. WWTSD?

A: After admiring the leather interior and the custom wheels and chrome rims Tony calls Vito, from the crew, to come over and boost the car.

Q: You just had dinner at your favorite restaurant and you notice the check is added wrong, too low by about 50%. WWTSD?

A: Tony supplies the linen and booze to the restaurant and skims 20% a month. He figures that if they made a mistake on his bill, they are doing it all the time. So Tony sends Christopher and Paulie over to give the restaurant owner a math lesson.

Of course there are variations on the game. A much more difficult version is What Would Jesus Do? Or WWJD? Here are some sample questions:

• Your best friend's daughter has applied to be a dancer at your strip club and you have known her since she was a baby. WWJD?
• A captain from another crew has wacked one of your men without asking your permission. But, to be fair, he had a very good reason. WWJD?
• Your girlfriend is threatening to tell your wife about her affair with you, but she is the best lay you've ever had. WWJD?
• Your son's first communion is today but you have to personally oversee delivery of a huge shipment of unstamped cigarettes at the same time. WWJD?
• Another Boss is trying to move in on your territory in the garbage business but the Feds are watching your every move. WWJD?

Isn't that fun? You can play for hours. The next one I'm thinking about working on is What Would Saddam Hussein Do?

You can post any of your own questions and/or answers for any of these games in the comments section below. Thank you.