Bonsai Grass

A while back a friend was telling me how Bonsai trees were made. It seems that when the plant is in its early stages they tie a wire around the base somewhere and it stunts its growth. At the time I didn't really care, but if a enough time passes, even things this dumb tend to bubble up in my brain. Eventually I began to wonder if this could be applied to other plants.

One more thing you have to know about me is that I hate cutting the grass. But I don't like the looks of gravel, green painted concrete or astro-turf. And apparently neither did the neighbors.

So after a while Bonsai Grass bubbled to the surface much like the answer window of a magic eight ball. I thought, what the hell? If it works, I'm a genius.

It took me a while to rig a portable magnifying glass so I could see my work. (WARNING: never use this device with the sun over your shoulder.) Then I had to find a supply of very fine wire and after trial and error learned how long each piece should be to allow me to tie it around an individual blade of grass with two tiny pairs of tweezers. Then I had to cut my supply of wire into pieces of that length. Now I was ready.

I was able to finish about 2 square feet in about a week and a half. I blamed it on my learning curve. And I would've kept at it if I wasn't missing so much time at the pool. So the debris from the project went on my workbench next to my automatic fly swatter and my doggy bungee cord projects.

The following week I got the lawn mower out to cut my grass and completely forgot about my section of finished Bonsai grass. When I hit it with the mower I punctured two tires on the family car and spayed the neighbors cat.

...I wonder if hot dogs float?