Tough Old Ladies

Attack on NYC Woman, 101, Caught on tape -- NEW YORK - For a moment, the man in the grainy video looks like a good Samaritan holding the door open for an elderly neighbor. Then he turns and delivers three sharp punches to the 101-year-old woman's head.

"The next thing I knew, I had a big bang on the side of my face," said Rose Morat, who suffered a fractured cheekbone and lost her purse and $33 to the mugger.

The attack was captured by a surveillance camera in the lobby of her Queens apartment building last Sunday.

That's right Rose Morat . . . You've been PUNK'D!!!

Ashton Kutcher and MTV brings-it-on in a brand new season of PUNK'D! The hilarious show that proves just how trusting and vulnerable some people are! Like little old ladies:

"I'm quite sure that if it had happened when I was younger, I would have been after him," Ms. Morat said. "I'm a very strong woman. I've been that way my whole life."

Yeah? And now you're PUNK'D!!!

THE PRECEDING COMMERCIAL WAS PAID FOR BY FRIENDS OF MTV.


After viewing this ad, the Escape Velocity News Team caught up with Ashton Kutcher outside of Demi Moore's Malibu estate. "Mr. Kutcher!" "Mr. Kutcher!" we all shouted to make it seem like there was more of a crowd.

When we got Ashton's attention, we stuck a tiki torch with a sock over it in his face, pretending it was a microphone. "What made you want to PUNK old ladies?" we all shouted at once.

He looked confused until we remembered he always looks like that. So we asked the question again, "What made you want to PUNK old ladies?"

"Because I'm sick of them telling me to 'pick up after myself', to 'sit up straight', where I can go, and who my friends can be!"

"Who is telling you to do all this, Ashton? You're Mom? Your grandmother?"

"I wish! At least I didn't have to sleep with them!" he answered.

"Are you . . ."

"Do you know that when I met her, she and Bruce smelled exactly the same? Chick sweat and Ben-Gay. And, to this day, I still don't know which was which. I even smelled like that for a while!"

"So you . . ."

"So I PUNK'D the old lady in New York. I can't really do her," he nods towards the mansion, "Bruce knows people who break things."

"Why would Bruce Willis still protect Demi Moore?"

"Don't you see?" Ashton practically pleaded. "They still hook up! They dig each other! They just do this, here, so they can be with younger people for the media! It's good for their careers!"

"You mean . . ."

"Yeah," Ashton Kutcher said, hanging his head in shame. "I've been PUNK'D!"



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