The Daytime Timely News Time

You Can't Travel Back in Time, Scientists Say -- WEINENHEIMER, Auckland - The urge to hug a departed loved one again or prevent atrocities are among the compelling reasons that keep the notion of time travel alive in the minds of many.

While the idea makes for great fiction, some scientists now say traveling to the past is impossible.

Our intrepid Escape Velocity reporter was able to sit down with Dr. Fenimore Swissenschlausser, renowned physicist and oboe player. "Dr. Swissenschlausser, why do you think traveling back in time is impossible?"

"Bekoss, I haff been told it by schumone frum der future!"

"Really?"

"No! I'm messing with you. Backwards time travel is impossible because of the nature of existence. Mass and energy do not exist outside of the present and reality is always in a constant state of NOW. The past and the future are only constructs of our minds. They exist only in our imaginations."

"Isn't this all just theoretical?" we asked.

"Just about everything in physics is."

"So, if someone else had another, differing theory about the nature of the universe and time travel, he could be just as right as you are?"

"Absolutely."

"Then why are you making this announcement as if you have the final word on the subject?"

"I had some extra time on my hands and I didn't want it to build up and ruin my theory." he replied.

.