Anna Nicole, We hardly Knew Ye

I was working through another batch of headlines this morning. As past readers know, I seldom read the news stories that accompany the headlines -- I make up my own stories or comments. I do this because so little of the news makes sense and I usually understand my take on things better. Besides, with the current state of journalism, it's a crap shoot either way.



Anna Nicole Smith dies in Florida at 39 -- HOLLYWOOD, Fla. - It is a tragic but familiar story that is too often told. Girl meets boy; boy dies and leaves girl a gazillion dollars, boy's family objects to girl and her inheritance, girl gets fat; girl gets thin; girl's money is tied up in the courts; girl meets other boy(s); girl gets pregnant; girl has baby and her adult son dies mysteriously in the hospital room; girl refuses paternity test for baby; boy(s) fight over paternity because they want to be such good Dad(s)[or possibly gizillionaires]; girl dies mysteriously in Florida hotel; boy(s) claim baby as their own; time passes; baby meets boy . . .

This is what passes for entertainment in America.



Violence Erupts at Jerusalem Holy Site -- JERUSALEM - No shit? Violence in the middle east? And in Israel of all places? I hope nobody was hurt.


iPod illegal at NYC Crosswalks? -- NEW YORK, New York, NY, new york, ny - Another asshole, New York legislator with nothing better to do is trying to micro-manage everyone else's lives, again. This time he is trying to "protect" people from the evils of music. Apparently, several people in the past year have been hit by cars while crossing the street. Suspiciously, they were using iPods at the time. Now -- everybody has to lose the iPods.

We are now living in a world where kids have to wear headgear to ride their bikes, 6 year olds have to ride in child seats, cell phones are illegal in cars, seat belts are mandatory, smoking is illegal, and light bulbs are endangered.

What ever happened to personal choice in this country? Don't these idiots in charge have enough to keep them busy? Did I miss it or have we solved the terrorist problem, the cost of health care problem, the national budget problem, the various crime problems, etc? How about a little "big picture" thinking for a change . . . and quit trying to micromanage our lives.

That's what we have wives for.


Police Probe Alleged Homeless Dumping -- LOS ANGELES, Ca. - A hospital van dropped off a paraplegic man on Skid Row, allegedly leaving him crawling in the street with nothing more than a soiled gown and a broken colostomy bag, police said.

The homeless man was later arrested when they found earbud marks and other iPod paraphinalia. "We found evidence to suggest this suspect clearly is an MP3 user and the earbuds are enough to charge him with intent to listen." a police spokesman said. "This may seem like a "soft" crime but, believe me, it is truly a gateway offence leading to more desperate criminal acts. If we don't stop this now, in six months he will be out here with light bulbs in his pockets, looking for a lamp and some cheap illumination. And we are three blocks from an elementary school, for God's sake."



That's it. Now go home and hug a loved one before it's illegal.

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