Sunday, June 22, 2008

Giving Good Foot

"Hmmmmmm......"

"Oh........mmmmmmmmmmm........ooooooooh........."

"Yeah.......that's it. Oh.......there........yes.........that's.......... IT!"



Which got me to thinking. The petite red head and I were talking about Reflexology the other day. Specifically foot rubs. Supposedly, there are spots on your feet that are somehow connected to most of the other spots on your body. If you can find the right pressure point you can relieve tension, ease pain or excite pleasure. All from the comforts of a basic foot massage. Cool!

And I can see the benefits of this for certain applications. Such as migraine headaches. Or maybe back pain. I'm not sure how it works for internal organs and stuff but I'd be willing to bet someone is making a claim, somewhere.

I guess I see the benefits falling into several categories. The first being the things I just mentioned. Things that are tough to directly deal with. I mean, you can't exactly run down to the spa and have your brain massaged whenever you get a headache. Or fluff your colon if you have indigestion. Can you?

Then there is the direct benefit of a foot rub. It just feels so damn good! I am sure that professional masseuses, reflexologists, and hookers know exactly what they are doing and how to get the maximum effect from a foot massage.

But erotic minded couples do well, too. The latter category has several things going for them. First, they could be all thumbs and need a manicure and their partner would still find pleasure in their touch. Secondly, the one giving the foot rub is getting similar pleasure because they know they are giving pleasure. And thirdly, if you rub a foot long enough, you ought to hit some of these pleasure response centers just by accident. So when the rubbee says, "Ohhhhhh........right there!", unless the rubber is retarded or something, they will stay there and the rubbee will say, "Wow, you give good foot!"

Which brings me to the third category. Finding THE spot on the foot. Somewhere on the foot is an elusive spot that theoretically could bring orgasmic pleasure. It is, I am sure, very difficult to find. Otherwise, high school kids would be doing it behind the barn and The Sharper Image would be selling imported Orgasm Shoes.

I also believe it is much like the "tickle response". Supposedly, people cannot tickle themselves. I think even if we had a pedal G-spot we could not give ourselves a foot-gasm. Otherwise, open-toed shoes would be much more popular.

All of which got me to thinking... again. If I could find the exact spot each and every time, the petite red head and I would never leave the house. We would sit with our feet in each others laps and say things like, "Now you do me."

"But I did you last time!"

"No you didn't! I did you!" And so on.

I could set up a web page and charge $29.95 for a down-loadable diagram where X marks the pedal G-spot. Foot-gasms Guaranteed. Which would be good money. Until the first asshole with a planters wart sues me for false advertising. Which is another reason to route your ISP through a dozen servers in several foreign countries. You can't bee too careful.

But I guess, for me, the bottom line is that it is great to give pleasure through a good foot rub. And it would be really cool to find that pedal G-spot. But, then again, why should I do it by remote control - when I already know where the "gee-whiz!" spot is?

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