They Missed It By THAT Much!

When I saw the following headline I was very excited -- so I asked her to stop doing that and to let me read the paper first:

Scientists Create Cloak of Invisibility

Scientists are boldly going where only fiction has gone before — to develop a Cloak of Invisibility. It isn't quite ready to hide a Romulan space ship from Capt. James T. Kirk or to disguise Harry Potter, but it is a significant start and could show the way to more sophisticated designs.

In this first successful experiment, researchers from the United States and England were able to cloak a copper cylinder.

For their first attempt, the researchers designed a cloak that prevents microwaves from detecting objects. Like light and radar waves, microwaves usually bounce off objects, making them visible to instruments and creating a shadow that can be detected.

Conceptually, the chance of adapting the concept to visible light is good, Schurig said in a telephone interview. But, he added, "From an engineering point of view it is very challenging."

The first working cloak was in only two dimensions and did cast a small shadow, Smith said. The next step is to go for three dimensions and to eliminate any shadow.

So . . . if we ever need to hide a copper cylinder from aliens who only see things in two dimensions in the microwave portion of the light spectrum and are easily confused by shadows, I guess we're all set.

Man! When I read this headline I really thought somebody had invented something. We are in the 21st Century, God damn it! Where is all of the cool stuff?

Announcing that scientists have created a Cloak of Invisibility based upon these specious results is the same junk science that allows them to link snow storms to Global Warming. Or a monkey fossil to modern man. Scientists claim to mostly be athiests (which could explain why Hollywood and the media are so quick to accept anything they say) but it seems to me that their A to Z leaps require more faith than if they just believed in God.

Based on these results I would have to conclude that Maxwell Smart is alive and well. What's next? Are these guys going to work on the Cone of Silence?

But, to be fair, these scientists aren't really all that dumb. I heard they took the 7.5 million dollar grant for this project and outfitted their lab with a plastic microscope from Toys 'R Us, a box of paper clips, a can of hairspray and a copper cylinder.

They used the rest of the money for a house in Malibu, a case of Goldschlager and abortions for their girlfriends. Oh, and four tickets to a George Clooney movie (the low budget equivalent of a liberal fund raiser).

I guess eventually, with enough money and enough junk science, we will someday be able to cast a Cloak of Invisibility to shield us from a division of tanks and a squadron of war planes.

And if you find that hard to swallow, would you believe . . . three Girl Scouts and a flock of seagulls?

No? Well then, how about . . . a blind man and a stuffed parrot?