Currently Current Events

Once again, we have gutted the headlines like a sacrificial deer and stuffed them with whimsey.

Actress Gives $1 Million to Art School -- BALTIMORE - Jada Pinkett Smith donated $1 million to the high school from which she graduated and asked that a theater there be dedicated to one of her classmates, Tupac Shakur. Coincidentally, There are just 19 days left in 2006 to get the tax break.

Mideast May Save Dead Sea With Red Sea -- This sounds like a job for The Cat in the Hat. Now they've got Dr. Seuss working on Mideast problems.

Doors Drummer Files for Divorce -- Windows woodwind recent widower. This is fun! Siding soloist seeks solitude. Basement bassist breaks barrier.

Obese Men, Girls See Unusual Testosterone Levels -- Yeah . . . that's their problem.



Romanian Models Present Lingerie by French Designers -- No they aren't!





Virginia Attorney General Wants Online Sex Offenders Names -- Why can't he pay the membership fees and IM for hours like the rest of us?


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His Sex Life is Going to the Dogs

I ran across this story this morning that I found funny on many different levels:

Man accused of having relations with dog

(AP) A man accused of having sex with the family dog has been charged under the state's new animal cruelty law which makes bestiality a felony, a prosecutor said.

Michael Patrick McPhail, 26, of nearby Spanaway, pleaded not guilty Thursday to one count of first-degree animal cruelty in Pierce County Community Court.

McPhail posted $20,000 bail on Friday.

McPhail's wife told investigators that she found her husband on their back porch Wednesday night having intercourse with their 4-year old, female, pit bull terrier, the Pierce County sheriff's office report said. The dog was squealing and crying, according to the charging papers.

The woman took photos with her cell phone and called the sheriff's office.

The bestiality law, which took effect in June, was prompted by a case near Enumclaw in which a Seattle man died after having sex with a horse. Before the law was enacted, Washington was one of 14 states where bestiality had not been explicitly prohibited.

The story prompted the following observations and questions:

• Dogs are man's best friend after all.
• Sex will always ruin a friendship.
• Technically speaking, did he plead not guilty to (just) one count of animal cruelty or is he thinking it wasn't so cruel?
• I'm thinking that for $20,000 he could have gotten one hell of a good pit bull blow up doll and avoided this mess.
• If the wife's first instinct was to take pictures, I'm guessing they already had issues.
• Is it technically cheating if it's the family pet?
• In dog years, is 4 years old under-aged?
• "The dog was squealing and crying . . ." Even the dog doesn't want to have sex with him? Maybe he's doing it wrong.
• Is the wife pissed off because he would rather have sex with a pit bull than her?
• What a great ad for MCI's Friends and Family program!
• Was the guy in Seattle pitching or catching?
• The other 13 states are West Virginia.