So This is Love

"So... I think I'm in love."

"That's nice," I replied.

"No, really!" my friend Frankie insisted.

"What's this make? Three times this month?" I asked?

"Well, we are at the end of the month!" she said. "So I am doing pretty good!"

"I'm happy for you." I dead-panned. Frankie has been in love fifteen times this summer. And I don't mean infatuated, or love-struck, or really digs a guy. She has been flat out in love fifteen times since Opening Day here at the resort.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm happy for the girl. And she seems to bounce back pretty fast when things don't go right. But it is difficult to work up any genuine excitement for a routine event that is over before it really gets started.

I should also explain that we aren't talking about spring flings, or summer romances, or fall fu...

(Sorry, I couldn't think of a clean one.)

But you get the idea. She believes she has fallen in love each and every time. Heart and soul.

And the funny thing is, is that I believed her - each and every time. This time, however, I thought I'd dig a little deeper.

"Why do you think you love this particular guy?" I asked.

"Because I think about him all of the time!"

"So far, he sounds like that Dr. Pepper jingle that I couldn't shake in the 70's." I offered. "What else have you got?"

"When he walks into a crowded room it's like he's the only one I see."

"What is he? Six-five? Two-fifty?"

"I get this empty, queasy feeling inside when he isn't around." she tried again.

"You've been on a diet since I've known you!"

"How about people say we look like a great couple?"

"So did Bonnie and Clyde."

"And look how much they loved each other!" Frankie persisted.

"Well, they were kinda dysfunctional, and we don't know if they would have lasted... what with dying in a hail of lead and all." I countered.

"But we have this chemistry."

"So does my hot tub."

"Well, we have so much in common!" she tried again.

"Besides the resort, the dances and the parties - name two."

"Uh... we... uh... we both like pizza! And we... uh... both like motorcycles!" she said proudly.

"Really? Out of all the people in the whole wide world and you two managed to find each other? That's amazing!"

"Shut up, Johnny."

"OK. But I'm not seeing a whole lot here yet."

"How about we don't have any of those awkward silences?"

"Are you saying you never shut up or that he doesn't mind if you do?" I wondered. "OK, let's try a couple of fast ones." I suggested. "What's his favorite color?"

"Blue!" she said quickly. Then her freckled nose screwed up in concentration. "Or maybe it's red."

"Where did he grow up?"

"Somewhere around here... or Pittsburgh. Maybe it was North Carolina... I don't know."

"What's his favorite food?"

"Pizza."

"Oh, yeah... uh... what kind of movies does he like?"

"So far, he like all of the same movies I do."

"Whatta guy!" I commented.

"I only have a couple more," I said because I could see she was getting impatient with me. I was supposed to be excited for her. She brushed the stray strawberry blond hairs from her face and pouted a little.

"I really do love him you know." she insisted again.

"What were the names of your last two boyfriends?" I asked innocently.

"One was... uh... Mark and the other was Jerry."

"Which was which?"

"Mark was... Mark... was... taller!"

"And what's this guy's name?" I figured she wouldn't remember.

"Well, that's what I've been trying to tell you but you've been asking all of these silly questions... It's you!"

Suddenly she seemed like she was the only girl in the room and I felt queasy inside. And as crazy as it sounded - we did make a great looking couple. OK, so maybe I didn't know everything about her (like her last name and stuff) but she does make me smile when she's around. So this is what love feels like...

As I looked up I saw Frankie skipping away, tossing her hair to one side with a quick move of her head and glancing over her shoulder. Laughing. I jumped up and yelled, "Damn it, Frankie. Quit messin' with me!"

.

...but does he LIKE like her?

What year is it? For a number of reasons I feel like I'm back in high school again. Of my group of regular friends and correspondents it seems a large number of us are recently separated or divorced or between significant others. And some of the conversations I've been involved in are straight out of third period.

(The names have been changed to protect the hapless.)

It seems that Suzie likes Joe. But even though Joe likes Suzie, he also likes Joanie. Joanie likes Joe as a friend but really isn't looking for a boyfriend and Suzie would really like a steady beau. But Joe doesn't want a committed relationship although he really likes Suzie... and Joanie.

And I'm the doofus who is passing notes for them between periods.

Then there is Bill. Bill seems to date a different girl every week. All of his friends welcome the new girls and take the time to learn their names. We all encourage Bill and the girls all seem nice. Yet, by sometime mid-week they've broken up and he's on to the next one. What I'm wondering is how he keeps getting his class ring back?

Then there is the case of Debbie and Rick who were friends of Elaine and Mike. When Elaine and Mike broke up Debbie and Rick stayed out of it. Until one day Mike got a call from Debbie wondering if she and Rick could hang out with Mike. Mike said, "Sure. C'mon over." Later on Mike found out that Elaine has been hanging out with Debbie and Rick and she was sending them to Mike's to spy on him. Which Mike thought was funny because Debbie and Rick would have been the first people Mike's hung out with since Elaine left.

And the high school analogy is apt. I mean, I'm 56 years old and actually found myself saying, "I know he likes her - but does he like like her?" What the hell's wrong with me?

At this stage of our lives you'd think the whole dating, courtship rituals would have sorted themselves out in our heads, would have begun to make some sense, and we would have a procedure for this stuff. This is, after all, the generation that gave the world the inter-web, right?

But it seems that the spark between people, that certain something that excites us and makes us act all goofy, does not go away with age. I don't truly remember the extent of my own high school goofiness but I'm sure it didn't have anything on the me of today. Recently, I've begun to think of it not so much as a spark as a short circuit.

Whatever it is, though, and however goofy it may make us seem, it is this spark between two people that brings us back to life when our prior "true love" ends. It provides us with a reason to look forward to tomorrow and to be happy today.

To quote Bobby Vinton:

Only love can break a heart... and only love can mend it again.



Now if my face would just clear up!

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