The Thinker

A lot of my friends have been asking me why I do not post more frequently. To tell you the truth - it is the research. Research takes a lot of time. Most of my ideas come from silly conversations with silly people. Finding these things is time consuming and often requires copious amounts of adult beverages.

Remembering them is a complete other matter.

I honestly cannot tell you how many times I've sat around with several people, on the next day, and all we could remember was laughing. Not one of us could remember what we were laughing at. But we all remembered saying how blogworthy it would be.

I have scratched my head raw trying to remember ideas from the previous night. I may as well have been scratching my ass.

Which got me to thinking. The problem may be more solvable if I broke it down.

First is the subject matter. Which I can't seem to remember. Nor can anyone else. So, like, that doesn't help.

Second is the people. Most of them, apparently, have faulty memories that do not improve with the introduction of alcohol. No help there. Some of them are pretty funny in their own right. But looks and taste in who they date isn't everything. Also, I can't let most of them know how funny they are. It is the same principle that says every experiment is contaminated by the observer (which is bad enough). But what if the experiment were self-aware? Although... there is little chance of that in this case.

Third is the location. Which usually comes down to my place or theirs.

And, lastly, is the alcohol itself. I have tried every combination I can think of. Clear drinks, amber drinks, mixed drinks, straight up, on the rocks, high test, wine coolers, lite beers, dark beers, redheads, blonds, brunettes, is she big, is she small, is she short, is she tall, is she any kind of dreamboat at all...

Wait a second! How did I drift into the theme song from Dobie Gillis?

Obviously, this problem is going to require more research with exhaustive overtime and late night sessions with several of my female interns. After which I should return refreshed and somewhat relaxed. Scratching my ass and wondering what the hell was so funny last night...


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